Sunday, November 19, 2006

for a foolish pride... love is the answer

MANNY WON! 3 rounds lang. Kakabitin! CONGRATS!!!!!

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What is wrong with some people? Why do they act with their heads held up sooo high that even if you try to reach out for them they'd step on you like you are dirt?

My mom has 3 couple friends before. They go out with a lot of business people way back... you could say they have their bonding. My mom owns a service center. It's where people get the products and the services are for free, e.g. trainings, meetings and anything the distributors would suggest.

My mom discussed a couple of reasons to me as to why they would be SOOO angry and mean. But, it all got worst when mom went to India. She was invited by the country manager of DXN to speak to a training camp in India.

My mom told me, she had 9 hours to wait for a plane from Singapore to India. So, she decided to use their free e-mailing service. My mom was so ecstastic that time and decided to mail some of her friends. But, she forgot most of the mail addresses since it is back home, all she remembered was, (let's call her) "Ate L."'s email addy. (My mom does not know anything about the address book that time, she though she must memorize it.) So, she mailed her. Thinking, she is her friend after all. I mean, you can mail your friend anytime right? Do you remember at times when you are at a different place and wanting to share your happiness?

But maybe "Ate L." received it the wrong way. I don't know. Because, when my mom returned from India, they were already cold and distant. And then the rumors started.

But you see, my mom was really a good friend to them. She never said a word against them or spread rumors. When they were friends, my mom cherished their company, and my mom's friendship with them "is" genuine. Is not was.

Rumors. My mom knows how "Ate L." can talk against a person. If she hates or dislikes a person, she would badmouth them. And *gosh* you would not want to hear them. My mom heard a lot of her "bad-mouthing" acts, but she just kept silent. And my mom knows, she would be the center of all the "bad-mouthing" ideas from "Ate L.". I can say, my mom prepared herself for the worst rumor.

Rumors were spreading. Whenever my mom would hear about one, my mom would just say, "Hayaan mo na lang sila. Wala lang silang magawa." or "As long as I am not saying anything against them, it's ok." And sometimes my mom would just laugh it off.

By the way, they opened another service center. They separated from mom's. They'd try to compare the two service centers. Saying we are this and they are that. But my mom, would again say, "Hayaan mo lang."

There were a lot of rumors , it would probably take me a whole day to enumerate all of them. I'd rather not say anything about it, for it would be like putting a very bad light for them.

Anyway, this feud has been going on for years already. 2 or 3. I can't remember. I don't know how to call this kind of feud, because my mom never tried to take a hand against them. Never. She'd probably talk about what they are doing "in our home", a closet discussion. Where she lets it all out. And she would end up wondering why they are so mad, and would say, "Hayy Hayaan na lang natin."

Last week, my mom told me(she shares everything to me and even ask about my opinion) she would reach out to them. She would give 3 sets of gifts for them. And my dad cried when he learned about it. It was always in his heart to make ammends with them. He is the type of person who is peaceful. He dislikes fights/feuds.

And so, my mom asked me what we would give. I told her, a book or some audio tapes they can use for their trainings in their center. So, my mom bought it. She even wrapped it late at night.... making a letter.

My mom had it delivered by our ever dearest housemate, last Friday at their service center. Saturday morning, the gift was sent back by their janitor. Unopened. The card was untouched.

Janitor: Ipabalik daw. (*They want this returned.*)

and the Janitor went out without waiting for an answer.

Our service center is full of people, specially Saturdays. And everyone was shocked.

The people in the service center did not know about my mom giving them a gift. It was sent discretely, so that they(SAS) won't think, the giving of gift was just a show. You see, their minds are so shallow. And they act and think childishly sometimes, most often than not, all the time.

And this is one of their acts. My mom's secretary (who lives at our house also, and is very close to us) cried. She did not know about my mom giving a gift, now she knows. Everyone knows.

My mom called three of her friends, her business partners. Who knows about the on-going feud. And they all said the same advice.



If they don't want it known, they would give it discretely back at your home. Why would they return a gift at a public place? What's the purpose? Just place the gift on display, have everyone take a look at it, but dont let them touch it. They want the public to know, so be it.It will be your memory, that you tried, and yet they rejected it.



And I remember,this quote I read sometime ago:


Do not be humble to the haughty, Do not be haughty to the humble


I guess it's time. No, not to fight back. But not to be just pushed around. My mom is still trying hard to dismiss any horrible thoughts against them. And I know give her a few weeks, she will get over it.

But you see, it's not easy. It's not easy to step down and reach out to someone who gives out rumors, who in a sense hurts you all the time, and in return they'd still stick out with their foolish pride.

It hurts, and as Im writing this I'm crying. I know, I know Im being too emotional. But, it hurts. As mom was telling me the story how they rejected it. I was fighting back tears.

But I know.... the answer lies in one word. LOVE. We do not hate them, for if we hate them, we would be their prisoner. We would be fried by our own hate.

It is a choice. If we choose to live in love or live it with hate and fear.

There might be a lot of things that would give us the reason to hate them. But, we dismissed them. I always believed in unconditional love. No matter, how bad they are to us.

The Masters and greatest teachers who have walked in planet Earth, are those who discovered the secret of this world - and they refused to acknowledge it's reality.

Masters are those who have chosen only love. In every instance, in every moment, in every circumstance. Even as they are being killed, they loved their murderers. Even as they are being persecuted, they loved their oppressors.

Jesus, Buddha and many others. NO matter what religion, race, tradition, culture. It does not matter. What matters is how they lived their life. It was of LOVE and kindness. Compassion and Forgiveness. Happiness and peace. Hope and Faith.

We are called upon this world to make decisions, specially in personal relationships. On our way to mastery, - we must experience some things that would leave us with a choice.

TO BE OR NOT TO BE, that is the question.

Shakespeare was right. You have to ask this question. To be or not be who you are? Who are you? Are you of love? or are you of hate? Do you choose to live in love? or to live in fear? The answer lies within you. The answer would determine who you want to be.

And I want to be LOVE. LOVE. LOVE. It's all about LOVE.

Yes, the things that others say, think and do will sometimes hurt us - until they do not anymore. What will get us from here to there - must be admitted with TOTAL HONESTY - being willing to assert, acknowledge and declare exactly how we feel about a thing or a person.

We must say our truth, kindly and completely. Live the truth, gently, but totally and consistently. We must change our truth quickly and easily when our experience brings us to new clarity.

No one in their right mind, least of all GOD, would tell us, when we are hurt in a relationship (be it friends or loved one), to "stand aside, from it, cause it to mean nothing."

If we are now hurting, it is too late to cause it to mean nothing. Our task now is to decide what it does mean - and to demonstrate that. For in so doing, we choose and become who WE SEEK TO BE.

I guess, they don't like it when they see us so happy and full of love. After all those rumors. It gives them more reason to hurt us more.

But in the end, they cannot. Because you see.... LOVE indeed CONQUERS ALL.

19 comments:

Pam said...

i think your mom is right..wala rin namang kwenta eh di wag nang pansinin diba...hehehe... but on the second thought, hindi mo rin talaga mapipigilang mainis..nananahimik ka biglang kang gaganunin...

hay. anong klase. booohoo.
pam | Homepage | 11.19.06 - 12:03 am |

Bam said...

Tina... T.T

I share your sentiments. T.T

But then again, to quote the great philosopher Ausonius, he said that:

Truth is the mother of hatred.

It can also be envy. Indeed, the hearts of man ARE easily corrupted. ['tis from Tolkien's LOTR]

Still, God is there. And the way I look at things, it seems that it BROUGHT positive outcome naman. Your family has become closer. And it is wonderful to know that, even if the world turned its back unto you, you still have someone to lean on.

I'm happy for the close connection between you and your mom. =)

I totally understand your feelings about the "card issue". It is difficult especially if the people who hate you USED to be your friends. But then again, "No hatred is so bitter as that of near relations" as what Cornelius Tacitus said.

Nevertheless, you know you were right. And GOD does also. ^^

I know your mom can make it. ^^

Send out my prayers and regards. ^^
Bam | Homepage | 11.19.06 - 1:41 am |

Blacksoul said...

sana nung sinabi nang mom na hayaan na lang natin sila,,,hinayaan niya na lang din.bat pa kasi sha nagpadala nang regalo,hinayaan niya na lang sana.btw.hindi naman yun kawalan nang nanay mo,its der lost.SIno a naman yung magaganahan sa naninira nag tao/
blacksoul | Homepage | 11.19.06 - 1:54 am |

tina said...

pam: Yup yup. You are right. ahihi. Pero ngayon. Move on na.

bam: nag papa release lang. one needs to say the truth.. and then accept it. Just a shame to lose them. Im feeling better now, after that release. Haha. The world is getting brighter. :P

and my mom is doing well. What with Manny winning? haha. Anyway, she is fine...

kasama pa naman namin sila sa trip sa China. Ano kayang mangyayari? ahihi

blacksoul: my mom just wanted to make ammends. kasi madaming nadadamay sa ginagawa nila. But then... it's part of the process. At least they tried to reach out. Oh well. ty for the comment.

TY for your comments appreciated it. :P
tina | Homepage | 11.19.06 - 2:02 am |

Avy said...

aww.. your family is truly kind-spirited.. that's what i admire about you.. keep a strong heart.. everything will fall into place..

*char* tarong to ha. pram da butum op may hart!
Avy | Homepage | 11.19.06 - 6:33 am |

tina said...

Avy: First time to nag serious ah! ahihi. Btaw dapat kind diod ta tanan. unsaon na lang kung dili. ahihi. ty sa comment
tina | Homepage | 11.19.06 - 6:46 am |

Giovanne said...

heello tina....da ana jud nang life...we experienced d same thing...der r really shallow-minded people in dis world...at least ur mom gave it a try...its der lost not urs....
bluedemon | Homepage | 11.19.06 - 6:49 am |

tina said...

Giovanne: Yay! ni comment na diod! Ikaw baya bida dire sa akong blog. Uu. Ani jud ang life. Hehe. Mao diod. :P At least nag try...
tina | Homepage | 11.19.06 - 7:20 am |

Katia said...

i was deeply touched by your post..

hey, at least your mom tried..
she wont be blamed at the Last Great Day..

dont let the haters bring you down..
keep smiling!
x.o.x.o.
katia** | Homepage | 11.19.06 - 10:41 am |

Lalaine said...

hay,,teka rest muna..haba pala nun! hehe

all i can say is that " buti ala akong friends na gnyn!"

sa inyo ng mom nyo, wag niyo maxadong seryosohin.. i mean to think na tumagal ng years yung away,,hay nako, tapos friends pa sila ng mom mo at hindi lng partners sa business.. hindi tlga real friend yun, at kinalaban pa nga ang business niyo..hay.. kainis...
lalaine | Homepage | 11.19.06 - 5:40 pm |

pot said...

Waw. Superclose kayo ng mom mo. Ako kasi minsan lang. =)
Pot | Homepage | 11.19.06 - 8:09 pm |

Cruise said...

you are blessed for having a kind and love mom. i'm sure the Lord will going to bless her for being kind even for people who dont repond to her kindness
cruise | Homepage | 11.19.06 - 11:17 pm |

Iskoo said...

right, love conquers all. and also I want to add that God honors the humble. your mom is great!
iskoo | Homepage | 11.19.06 - 11:20 pm |

Ralpht said...

at least nakakarelease ka. 'yan ang main reason kung bakit ako nagblog... "to release shit". go lang. release... no one's stopping you. you'll feel better afterwards.

"unconditional love"... tell me about it...
ralphT | Homepage | 11.20.06 - 12:19 am |

Ann said...

I understand your mom, mahirap kasi yung may kagalit, lalo at dating mga malalapit syo kaya sya gumawa nang ganung move. Pero kung sya na nga yung nagpakababa at ayaw pa rin ng kabila, ok na yun at least ginawa na nya yung part nya. Hindi na sya ang magdadala nun.
ann | Homepage | 11.20.06 - 1:16 am |

Kath said...

yeah.. So..kind..
Don't you know that..I'm proud of you....

Always.
kath | Homepage | 11.20.06 - 3:15 am

tina said...

katia: yeah at least she tried. that's what matters.

lalaine: pasensya at mahaba. ahihi. -_-

Pot: hehe kahit strict ung mom ko.. nakakausap din naman.

Cruise: Indeed. Thanks

Iskoo: Tama tama. LOVE conquers all. Love is the answer. :P ahihi

RalphT: Id prolly right something about unconditional love one day.

Ann: Mahirap talaga. Nag try lang talaga ung mom ko.. kasi baka sakali maging ok ang lahat.

Kath: Thank you. ahihi proud sad ko sa imong pagka IKAW
tina | Homepage | 11.20.06 - 3:38 am |

Celena said...

You mom is VERY STRONG. You are very blessed to have that kind of mom. Wag mo nang isipin yung mga yun. Mabuti na lang at hindi na ninyo sila pinagiisipan ng masama. Go with the flow.

Kaya niyo yan. LOVE.
celena | Homepage | 11.20.06 - 6:43 am |

Tin said...

you know, while im reading this, i cant help to push back my tears. Yes, right now, im crying. Your mom is strong to withstand those rumors. Saludo rin ako sa mom mo. Yan na nga siguro ang nagagawa ng unconditional love. Though they forsake her ang bringing her down, your mom's love is still. You are very lucky for having a mom like that. marami akong natutunan sa mom mo, pati na rin sa post mo. thanks. sensya na rin at late ako nagcomment. God bless and your family mo!
tin | Homepage | 11.23.06 - 9:28 pm |