Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Five(5) Natural Emotions - Envy

Suggested reading: Grief and Anger
You read the title right. Envy is the third natural emotion.

Credits/Ideas: CWG, and Dr. Elisabeth Kubler Ross, Wikipedia

Oh puhleaseee... read everything in context.

Natural envy is the feeling of desire to have something that someone has. This is when you desire to be like someone, or have something that a certain person has. This is like a five-year-old kid wishing he could ride the bike like his brother could or a teenager wanting to drive a car.

This is the natural emotion that makes you want to do it again; to try harder; to continue striving until you get what you want. It is very healthy to be envious, and it is just natural. It is human nature.

Just like grief and anger when you are taught as a child that it is ok to be envious in a healthy way, and you were allowed to express it, in your adult life, it is easy to move quickly from envy and you will have a healthy attitude towards it. But, if you were taught as a child that envy is not okay, and it is wrong to experience or express it, you will have a hard time dealing with envy when you grow old.

I know, while reading this you might be thinking... "What? Envy ? A natural emotion?". "It is just right to express it? and then teach the children to be envious?"

According to Schoeck from his book Envy: A Theory of Social Behaviour: "Envy is not wholly negative."

It is what drives us to do more, and it is just like admiring what others have achieved and wanting to achieve it yourself as well.

Basically, we all do feel envious about something one way or another. Show me a person who never wished to have something the other person has. Have you ever wished to be just like the actor/actress you do so admire? Have you ever wished to do something what other people have done like bungee jumping or go sky diving ?

Too much ENVY and ENVY repressed would lead to JEALOUSY. Jealousy is a veryyyy UNNATURAL emotion.

People have killed other people (like lovers in conflict) because of jealousy. Wars have started (just like Helen of Troy) because of this.

I think Envy is one of the 7 deadly sins in the Catholic tradition.

But, I hope you don't get me wrong here.. what I am talking about is the positive side of "envy". The "enough" envy that would drive you to where you want to be, but not the excess which would lead to jealousy. ( It's all too tricky, and I guess I can't express it wholly to you just here) I am talking about the envy that leads you or motivates you to be a better person and not cause other people harm. I hope we are clear on that.

Envy consists in seeing things never in themselves, but only in their relations. If you desire glory, you may envy Napoleon, but Napoleon envied Caesar, Caesar envied Alexander, and Alexander, I daresay, envied Hercules, who never existed. - Bertrand Russell

21 comments from haloscan:

hi. thanks for the comment on "murder,she wrote."

nope, it isn't a book. but if i were to be given a chance, i'll make an ebook out of my entries, then later publish it on paper. that'd be all on mr. lisondra's wonderful artistic layouts.

the title is same with a particular tv series from the time i was born til.. er.. forgot.


nwei, thanks again.

still on hiatus lately. and nostalgic as well, my Ryan's with me kc. hehe. chege.

Gravatar haha I think sis u're in the mood to post the 7 sins heehee.. maganda yan sis, nakaka inspired mga post you.. sobra.. d pa pala kita nalilink, so if you don't mind, I will link you.. mwah!

Gravatar oh yes,envy,a natural emotion...though i dont teach my children to be envios too much..maliit na bagay,yes,ok lang yun..gaya nang "kainggit ang buhok nya","ganda ng height nya",at least may compliment sa ibang tao,pero pag malaking bagay na,esp financially status,theirs or others,makakarinig na sila ng critic sa akin.

at ayokong nag ku compare sila sa iba..

Gravatar Ate Ghee: Yup...too much envy leads to jealousy... and un ung di maganda...

Gravatar this is a good post striving to have wat others has would be good. envying? yes but remember too much is not good. and it will always leads to jealousy. eerrr...then it will make them do soemthing that is not good! admiring and desiring watever others has would be a good sign for us to have the determination of getting wat we wanted. again, not too much!
hmm..basta i get it. i just cant really tell how.hehe!

take care always..mwahugs

Gravatar True, true!

Oh Tina. You're such a wise woman. I feel better. (I think) Hehe.

And I thank God we're friends.

Gravatar wow. inspirational talk.

Yea. i guess theres also a positve side of envy.

very well said.
i love your posts.

dropping by sis.

Gravatar ggrrrr nabura ang first comment ko anyhow ganda ate ng post mo, nakakarelate ang mga nagbabasa.. and tama ung sa envy and jealousy... minsan kasi nararanasan ko din yan.. ingat ka lagi ate.. have a great week!

Gravatar tina i envy you kasi laging may matutunan sa mga post mo. dahil inexplain mo naman kung ano ibig mo sabihin sa envy, muhang di naman talaga pareo dun sa envy na tinutukoy ng church.

Gravatar nice read.. oo nga naman.. i didnt realize that envy is the third natural emotion.. that got me into thinking also.. Im not the jealous type but maybe unknowingly I am.. hehe

Gravatar Wow sis your post is really inspiring.I agree. . Ako din envy ako sa tao. I agree na ang envy nagdadala sa atin sa tagumpay.

Thanks for this.

Gravatar Never thought about envy that way!

Gravatar Envy and jealousy can be taken into positively. Very nice insights!

Gravatar aww.. i really like this entry of yours.i certainly agree with this. anyway, thanks for asharing this with us,. take care!

Gravatar You're right jealousy is the green eyed monster, but envy is a natural emotion, that a mature individual should have good control over.

Happy belated Birthday to your Mom! She and Nermal have almost the same day hehe

Gravatar hay nako.i hate this feeling. i feel this and it sucks.. huhu

Gravatar A little envy is healthy, but when taken too far it becomes dangerous. Baka pumatay pa ng tao dahil sa inggit. Ay sus.

Gravatar everything that we feel is normal... they just turn bad in excess.

Gravatar i see so talagang natural lng na mainggit ?? sabagay it is also one of the reasons why yung ibang tao sbrang nagpupursue sa dreams nila dahil may kinaiinggitan cla and gus2 nila matulad dun.... pwede rin po bang baliktad nauuna yung jealousy bago yung envy???

Gravatar inggitera pa naman ako.. nyahahha.. pero sa tingin ko healthy pa naman yung sakin.. hehhehe..

Gravatar I always tell that to my kids, instead of being envious to anybody or for anything, gawin na lang nila itong inspiration .