Sunday, March 25, 2007

Five(5) Natural Emotions - Anger

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!! LOVE YOU!!!! - March 26, 2007

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Before you read this: Read the 1st Grief.

The second(2nd) natural emotion is - Anger.

Yes, anger is a natural emotion.

Anger does not have to be abusive, and it should never be damaging to one another. This is a natural response whenever you do not like something, like reading articles that you find about racism or someone being abused. It is when you feel upset about someone to whom you felt you've been wronged.

When as a child you have been taught to express anger, when you grow up you experience a very healthy attitude towards anger and then you move through your anger very quickly.

When as a child you have been taught that it is wrong to be angry, it is not okay - it is wrong to express it, and you should not even experience it - when you grow up you will have a difficult time to move from your anger.

Anger repressed can poison a relationship as surely as the cruelest words. -Dr. Joyce Brothers.

Anger that is continually repressed becomes RAGE. Rage is an unnatural emotion.
People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing. ~Will Rogers
Because of rage many people have killed other people, many people brought about damage to other people and wars have started because of this.

Credits/Ideas: CWG, and Dr. Elisabeth Kubler Ross, Wikipedia

There are actually different levels of anger.

The level or type of anger I'm talking about is the one that you express right out that you are angry and then get over it quickly. This type of anger does not last long. This anger I'm talking about is the natural emotion you feel, the instant response you have over something you do not like.
He who angers you conquers you. ~Elizabeth Kenny
It's also different when you are "being angry over someone for so long" or resentment. Like whenever you see that person you suddenly have the urge to "harm" or even wish him/her "harm". Now, that's not natural. It just seems like that person has control over you.

Just want to make it clear that there are certain levels of anger. One type or level of anger that you feel instantly and then get over it quickly by expressing it without doing any harm to another person. Another anger is the one that boils deep inside causing you or might cause you to harm another person and thus harm and bring about a very unnatural feeling which might lead to rage.

What should I do?

Anger will never disappear so long as thoughts of resentment are cherished in the mind. Anger will disappear just as soon as thoughts of resentment are forgotten. -Buddha

Go express what you feel in a good way. Remember, you can always approach anger in two different ways. Anger has two sides. One, with the negative approach and the other the positive approach.

Other approaches to anger by prominent people:
The best remedy for a short temper is a long walk. ~Jacqueline Schiff

When you are offended at any man's fault, turn to yourself and study your own failings. Then you will forget your anger. - Epictetus

If you're angry at a loved one, hug that person. And mean it. You may not want to hug - which is all the more reason to do so. It's hard to stay angry when someone shows they love you, and that's precisely what happens when we hug each other. ~Walter Anderson, The Confidence Course, 1997

Never ever hold a grudge or resent anyone for too long. It is not healthy.

For children (what do I know? ha? Im not a parent but I'm basing it on experience and... basically in the views of a "child" because I was "child" once.)

  • Ask your child how he/she feels.
  • If the child says she is mad or angry about something or someone, don't tell him/her it is wrong to feel angry. Just tell him/her it's ok to be angry.... but not to the point of hurting other people.
  • If the child punched another child because of his/her anger maybe it is better to explain to a child that it's ok to be angry but you must never ever hurt other people in the process. Of course, in a very nice way. Kids listen. I don't think scolding works when you are trying to explain something to a child.
  • A child listen to "sweet-nice-talks".
These are just my views. I know in your experience you have other "good ways" in handling anger and it might be very great to share them as well. :)

Here are some quotes about anger, rage and resentment from prominent people that might be of help and be of use to you:

Get mad, then get over it. ~Colin Powell

Anger dwells only in the bosom of fools. ~Albert Einstein

Sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel. ~Author Unknown

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. ~Buddha

Resentment is an extremely bitter diet, and eventually poisonous. I have no desire to make my own toxins. ~Neil Kinnock

He is a fool who cannot be angry; but he is a wise man who will not - Anonymous.

Anger is a great force. If you control it, it can be transmuted into a power which can move the whole world. - William Shenstone.

Let us not look back in anger, not forward in fear, but around awareness. - James Thurber.


ychel said...

haha! first one to comment..yay! im gonna read all this stuff i will learn lots of this hehe.

i dont get angry easily but then wen im angry im gonna tell it and express it on thee way i want it.

take care tina! mwahugs..
ychel | Homepage | 03.24.07 - 9:50 pm |

Mari said...

Your post is thought provoking. I have not read all, but will come back and do more reading.
Mari | Homepage | 03.25.07 - 4:31 am |

Sidney said...

I am not easily angry and I forgive quickly!
Interesting stuff!
Sidney | Homepage | 03.25.07 - 5:17 am |

Ann said...

I don't easily get mad. But for sure I can't hug the person to whom I am angry.
ann | Homepage | 03.25.07 - 8:24 am |

Shoshana said...

There are a lot of people I know who thinks that because they are "angry" the are entitled to behave in a most hurtful manner to others. And the "others"? why they are to excuse her because she is angry.

I tend to want to smack them, or ignore them because there is no compromising with these type of people.

What happens if you have to deal with them often? You get a lot of grief over and over again, and it bleeds into your life until that too is being poisoned.

It's better to stay away from angry people, or cut them off from your life. That's healthy.
Shoshana | Homepage | 03.25.07 - 6:11 pm |

Angelo said...

Good post Tina, and great timing! I just had a blow-up with my gf last night. It's over anger and resentments I've been having trouble letting go of.... and other things too, but you're right, it's not healthy, for the relationship and for my own mental health. Kudos
Angelo | Homepage | 03.25.07 - 8:21 pm |

bea said...

i don't easily get angry. i seldom get angry. mahilig kasi ako magpasensya lol. tapos when i get angry i just cry. thanks for sharing this. will read your post about grief later. so busy kasi me sa work. wala pang sleep...for two days na. zombie na ako waaaa...

big, big thanks for the visits even if i don't have updates. suuuuuuper na-appreciate ko talaga. take care!
bea | Homepage | 03.25.07 - 8:45 pm | #

Sasha said...

Never ever hold a grudge or resent anyone for too long. It is not healthy.

This is so true. You'd see and feel the dfference when you hold a grudge and then let go of it altogether.

Great post, Tina! :D
sasha | Homepage | 03.25.07 - 10:35 pm |

Tin said...

nice post tina! thanks for sharing. i don't easily get mad, and if I do, i always forgive and forget.
tin | Homepage | 03.25.07 - 11:37 pm |

len said...

i really don't know the right response to my anger.. upon reading ur post i have learned lots of things and facts about that kind of feeling nice post po
len | Homepage | 03.26.07 - 3:32 am |

Aisha said...

natural lang tlga ang anger.. we need that kung hnd sasabog tlga tyu eh dba?
Aisha | Homepage | 03.26.07 - 4:55 am |

Lhyz said...

yeah, that's what my boyfriend trying to say to me, when I'm angry, I don't care what does the people feel about me. In someway, I should control my anger, its a sin anyway.
lhyz | Homepage | 03.26.07 - 11:19 am |

iskoo said...

i learned from this kasi madali akong mapikon at magalit lalo na kung mali ang ginagawa nila. pero tama ka sa mga naanggot mo rito tungkol sa anger. nag-attend ka ba ng anger management? hihihi
iskoo | Homepage | 03.26.07 - 11:51 am |

Ychel said...

hapi bday to ur mom. wish her all the best! tina..
ychel | Homepage | 03.26.07 - 7:08 pm |

ghee said...

1st is grief,second is anger.

He who angers you conquers you. ..indeed..

i calm myself when im angry..and silence is my best remedy after bursting out the emotion...never be defeated by anger.

god job Tina!keep it up!
ghee | Homepage | 03.26.07 - 10:22 pm |

Joanna said...

tamang tama for me.. minsan kasi madali akong magalit.. lalo na pag stressed out na talaga.. hehehe.. kaya lagi akong nasasabihan ng suplada.. matry nga yung take a long walk.. try ko kung uubra.. nyahahaha..
joanna | Homepage | 03.27.07 - 2:09 am | #

dimaks said...

anger goes perfectly with tears :D very bright thoughts here!
dimaks | Homepage | 03.27.07 - 5:00 am |

Ninong said...

alam ko ito, but i still tend to bottle up my anger anyway... at tumatagal talaga... at talagang harsh pag pumutok na...
ninong | Homepage | 03.28.07 - 12:22 pm |

karla stefan said...

exactly. we have the right to be angry because we are just human. but we also have to remember that the people around us are human therefore we must not let the anger transcend into something that might hurt them.

we are all humans. (some people need reminders)
karla stefan | Homepage | 03.29.07 - 12:07 am |

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