HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!! LOVE YOU!!!! - March 26, 2007
[ /edit ]
Before you read this: Read the 1st Grief.
The second(2nd) natural emotion is - Anger.
Yes, anger is a natural emotion.
Anger does not have to be abusive, and it should never be damaging to one another. This is a natural response whenever you do not like something, like reading articles that you find about racism or someone being abused. It is when you feel upset about someone to whom you felt you've been wronged.
When as a child you have been taught to express anger, when you grow up you experience a very healthy attitude towards anger and then you move through your anger very quickly.
When as a child you have been taught that it is wrong to be angry, it is not okay - it is wrong to express it, and you should not even experience it - when you grow up you will have a difficult time to move from your anger.
Anger repressed can poison a relationship as surely as the cruelest words. -Dr. Joyce Brothers.
Anger that is continually repressed becomes RAGE. Rage is an unnatural emotion.
People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing. ~Will RogersBecause of rage many people have killed other people, many people brought about damage to other people and wars have started because of this.
Credits/Ideas: CWG, and Dr. Elisabeth Kubler Ross, Wikipedia
There are actually different levels of anger.
The level or type of anger I'm talking about is the one that you express right out that you are angry and then get over it quickly. This type of anger does not last long. This anger I'm talking about is the natural emotion you feel, the instant response you have over something you do not like.
He who angers you conquers you. ~Elizabeth KennyIt's also different when you are "being angry over someone for so long" or resentment. Like whenever you see that person you suddenly have the urge to "harm" or even wish him/her "harm". Now, that's not natural. It just seems like that person has control over you.
Just want to make it clear that there are certain levels of anger. One type or level of anger that you feel instantly and then get over it quickly by expressing it without doing any harm to another person. Another anger is the one that boils deep inside causing you or might cause you to harm another person and thus harm and bring about a very unnatural feeling which might lead to rage.
What should I do?
Anger will never disappear so long as thoughts of resentment are cherished in the mind. Anger will disappear just as soon as thoughts of resentment are forgotten. -Buddha
Go express what you feel in a good way. Remember, you can always approach anger in two different ways. Anger has two sides. One, with the negative approach and the other the positive approach.
Other approaches to anger by prominent people:
The best remedy for a short temper is a long walk. ~Jacqueline Schiff
When you are offended at any man's fault, turn to yourself and study your own failings. Then you will forget your anger. - Epictetus
If you're angry at a loved one, hug that person. And mean it. You may not want to hug - which is all the more reason to do so. It's hard to stay angry when someone shows they love you, and that's precisely what happens when we hug each other. ~Walter Anderson, The Confidence Course, 1997
Never ever hold a grudge or resent anyone for too long. It is not healthy.
For children (what do I know? ha? Im not a parent but I'm basing it on experience and... basically in the views of a "child" because I was "child" once.)
- Ask your child how he/she feels.
- If the child says she is mad or angry about something or someone, don't tell him/her it is wrong to feel angry. Just tell him/her it's ok to be angry.... but not to the point of hurting other people.
- If the child punched another child because of his/her anger maybe it is better to explain to a child that it's ok to be angry but you must never ever hurt other people in the process. Of course, in a very nice way. Kids listen. I don't think scolding works when you are trying to explain something to a child.
- A child listen to "sweet-nice-talks".
Here are some quotes about anger, rage and resentment from prominent people that might be of help and be of use to you:
Get mad, then get over it. ~Colin Powell
Anger dwells only in the bosom of fools. ~Albert Einstein
Sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel. ~Author Unknown
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. ~Buddha
Resentment is an extremely bitter diet, and eventually poisonous. I have no desire to make my own toxins. ~Neil Kinnock
He is a fool who cannot be angry; but he is a wise man who will not - Anonymous.
Anger is a great force. If you control it, it can be transmuted into a power which can move the whole world. - William Shenstone.
Let us not look back in anger, not forward in fear, but around awareness. - James Thurber.