Dragons and Castles

last year it was one of the best years i've had...

i got what i always longed for... gaining a heart's desire is what i've always wanted...

to immerse myself to someone

but then just before the year ended...

I ended something i wished would last forever... but sometimes you just gotta go with the flow. he once told me: "only dead fishes swim with the currents"...

i was kind of taken aback when he said that. meaning, if i go with the flow... would that mean, i am dead?

only in the worldly mundane view could it be true...

about dead fishes swimming with the currents...

but, maybe he is not seeing the big picture...

because, if you see the big picture... there's no use resisting the flow if it goes from East to West right?

"the only time you feel alive is when you go against the flow.. trust me." his words.. resounded in my head. though it sounds so exciting, the prospect of being alive - i mean.. it just does not add up to what i believe in.

i frowned. trying to understand. and then it hit me.

and then i realized we came from two different programs, two different worlds...

he is somewhat so accustomed to his ways, his own rules that he doesn't fit mine.

then i realized we don't share the same values, ideals and aspirations...

there is love... but sometimes... the light of your love is painful for someone who wants to remain in darkness...

and so just like oil and water.... we will separate....

and i know..

this year... is going to be one of the best...

this year... is going to reap a million or more...

this year... i am devoting myself to LOVE more than ever before...

this year... i delight myself in the eyes of my one lover who never abandoned me... who stayed through it all... His Spirit Lives.

this year... i am spending more time with the people who supported me... who saw through me... who gave me courage..... Mom, Dad, Darlene, Paolo, Ate Ariane, Yhe, Abigail, Nay Judith, Doc Andre.. for all those mini sessions we had separately...

and for the couples who inspire me with their love... and never lacked the support...

Kuya Jong and Ate Pat, Kuya Jundi and Ate Mar, Sol and Ate Kai, Cris and Ate Jill, Kuya Carlo and Ate Ivy,

though the prince i hoped who could save me never really made it.(he did not make it through the dragon's initiation. Remember, only the initiated can go through the castle gates and make his way to the tower, if he is armed with the sword of truth and the shield of courage. the other prince dropped his along the way).. i know another one is on his way.... because i heard.. when love is not there.. it may be on it's way.

and so if you are expecting a visitor.. what do you do?

you prepare....



May your 2010 be the best you could ever wish for! :)

May LOVE rule and reign... because really... what the world needs now is just that: LOVE. :)

and that it still conquers ALL. :)